Family Recipes: To be Shared or Guarded with Your Life?
What compels some people to share their family recipes, while others guard them fiercely? Yashodhara Sirur searches for answers.
I have always been fascinated by heirloom recipes — those secret pieces of food sorcery passed on from mother to daughter and granddaughter; handwritten recipes, perfected and polished, to be handed over when children fly the nest; recipes that, when transformed into meals, evoke memories of grandmothers and simpler times.
As a child, I watched agog as Po’s father in Kung Fu Panda revealed his secret ingredient for noodle soup. As a teenager, I sympathized as Monica Geller baked 22 batches of cookies to recreate Phoebe’s grandmother’s secret cookies. And every time I read Anne of Green Gables, I find myself coveting the recipe for Marilla’s famous plum preserves!
Heirloom Family Recipes
Close to home, my mum is famous for her ghee-drenched Puranpoli, dad for his Saudi-style biryani and my grandmother’s gulab jamun has spoiled us all for store-bought gulab jamuns. The funny thing is, I have never once attempted cooking these culinary inheritances on my own. My mum never tried making gulab jamun herself either, until after my grandmother passed away. Making gulab jamun then, became an attempt to recreate her magic. Unbelievably, she succeeded on her first try. My grandmother was never one to meticulously write down a recipe. I don’t think there even was a recipe! And so, with zero formal instruction, without measuring cups or thermometers, my mum still makes soft-as-a-cloud gulab jamuns, just like my Ajji used to.
How did she learn? Was it the sort of knowledge that one gains by osmosis — just by being present in the kitchen, just by taste-testing the first gulab jamun straight out of the kadhai, by savouring its melt-in-the-mouth quality year after year? Sure, that’s one way to do it. But what happens when a friend, neighbour, or even random Instagram person asks for a cherished family recipe? Or a recipe of your own that you have painstakingly perfected, to become your signature? Would you share it willingly, or would you hesitate?
Would You Share?
I asked Chef Shilarna Vaze, founder and owner of Gaia Gourmet. She confessed that there was in fact, one recipe she would never share: her maternal grandmother Sumi Ma’s Prawn Khichdi with coconut milk. “Not because I plan to patent it or turn it into some kind of ready-to-eat line. It’s just that so many generations have come to our home to eat this one dish; first, my mother and her sister, and their friends, and more recently, my friends too! Sumi Ma’s prawn khichdi has become synonymous with celebrations in our home! In fact, it was even served at our own rooftop wedding party,” she reminisces.
Saee Koranne Khandekar, well-known cookbook author and culinary consultant, has a different take on sharing recipes. “I have been raised to believe that recipes (and people!) only gain goodwill by sharing. There is absolutely no merit in keeping recipes secret. In any case, I believe that even if a cook were to follow a written recipe down to the last gram, their version will taste at least slightly different from the original, because each cook adds, knowingly or unknowingly, something of their own, and so, the original can seldom be replicated. There is greater solace in the thought that a cook lives on through the recipes they pass on.”
Meghana Hegde, a self-taught home baker and chef, echoes a similar sentiment. “I believe in sharing and letting everyone enjoy good food wherever they are, and whenever they can. Considering how our families and friends are spread across the globe, it does not make sense to hold on to recipes. Sharing is a way to help them get a taste of home and country!”
On the other hand, Shastri Rodrigues Rebello is the proud member of a family that guards not one, but a whole book of secret recipes. In every festive meal served at the Rodrigues Rebello household, pride of place is given to their secret Galinha Cafreal (Chicken Cafreal). While the world knows of Chicken Cafreal as Goan cuisine’s quintessential green curry, the Rodrigues Rebello family recipe produces a fiery red version.
Their recipe comes all the way from Mozambique, where Shastri’s great-grandfather Atanazio Santimano worked as a Railway accountant. He learnt the recipe from a local cook and taught it to his wife, who passed it on in the family. Shastri’s mother Alice, who is the only person in the family privy to the recipe, believes that it should stay in the family. Shastri himself believes that keeping recipes secret is a relic of a bygone era — an era before the Internet, where recipes were not readily available, and restaurants were far and few in between. In the 21st century, where we can order gourmet food at the click of a button, look up a recipe reel on Instagram, or subscribe to detailed Youtube demonstrations of any recipe we fancy, keeping a recipe secret no longer feels very important. “On the contrary, traditional recipes have become a means of staying in touch with our unique Goan heritage,” says Shastri.
The Greater Good
Saee elaborates further, “Documenting heirloom recipes has archival value. Future cooks, family members and even historians will learn something from the exercise. As a society, we learn so much about communities through family cookbooks — migratory trends, adaptation of ingredients according to availability and inter-community marriages. Family recipes are a window into the socio-political fabric of time.”
In today’s melting pot of a world, where everyone is looking for an authentic recipe, traditional family recipes are the real deal. They trace not only the history of a community but also the journey of a family. Just like the Rodrigues Rebellos’ spicy red cafreal — what makes it special is its story. And stories are all the better for being shared! Whether it is hot pakodas in the rain, steaming bowls of stew, freshly baked cookies or even secret recipe cards, there’s always more to pass on!
Yashodhara Sirur is a part-time writer and full-time IT professional based in Mumbai.
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